


Broken Beyond Repair

by Sedika



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil, phanfiction - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Depression, F/F, Friendship, Gay, Homophobia, Love, Sexuality, Suicide, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6870193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sedika/pseuds/Sedika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil have been living together for about a year. Both boys balance each other out in ways that society cannot fathom.</p><p>But Dan has a past, his success will only prove to cause him trouble as he goes through breakups and makeups with friends and family.</p><p>Dan's biggest regret is Phil. The fact that he dragged his best friend into this fucked up world. It was fine though, he was determined to fix things</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Promises

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning

It'd been a year since Dan and Phil met, six months since they'd moved in together. Both boys were average, young youtubers, living in London in hopes of achieving their dream; what was their dream, you may ask? 

Happiness. All they wanted really was happiness. True happiness; a feeling that comes deep from within - not as a result of anyone or anything, rather just a desperate need to smile or laugh at absolutely nothing. 

Their relationship was something people would refer to as 'perfect', so idealistic that some even thought that it was merely platonic in hopes of getting more views and subscribers. Alas, this was not true. The two boys loved each other from the bottom of their hearts which was proven by their primal need to make the other feel safe and happy.

Though complete opposites, Dan and Phil seemed to attract each other in a way that neither biology nor chemistry could encounter, a mutual bond that lead to some sort of synchronised mind-set which allowed them to be interconnected in all sorts of ways. 

It was a paradox.

Dan was dark; an enigma within himself. A dangerous aura surrounded him at all times. He wasn't lethal, but his thoughts were. His mind constantly travelled to deep places where no human would be brave enough to go and maybe this is what attracted him to Phil.

Phil, in comparison, was a light like no other. His positivity shone through at every occasion and he wasn't one to be a victim of his circumstance. Phil was a child at heart and knew exactly how to cheer someone up making him the perfect companion for Dan. 

\------

Both boys stood at the door as the taxi pulled up to their driveway.

"Goodbye Dan, I'll miss you." Phil hugged his best friend as tightly as he could.

"Take care of yourself Phil, I'll see you in a week." Dan strained a smile earning a confused look from Phil who rushed away to satisfy the taxi driver who had began beeping. 

With a final wave, Dan closed the door and slid down against it, picking up his mobile phone. He went through his list of contacts, not finding anyone who he could actually talk to until he landed on someone. 

"Hello?" A voice rang out from the other side of the phone. 

"Louise! Hey I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today."

"Dan you sound a bit strange, you feeling okay?" Dan panicked and looked around, not wanting to reveal the burden he had been carrying on his shoulders. In a moment of anger, he hung up the phone.

In the time that he was alone, Dan contemplated. He had lived with Phil for only half a year and yet had let himself get attached so quickly and strongly. It was wrong, the whole situation was wrong. He didnt deserve a kind soul like Phil, he didn't deserve anyone just like his father said. 

(Flashback)

"Dad, I have something to tell you." Dan hesitated.

"Go on, Dan. Tell your old man will you?" His dad slapped him on the back in a playful manner. 

"I'm dropping out of college."

That was the last time Dan saw light in his father's eyes. They lost their depth and had become hollow and emotionless. He felt a sting not only in his chest, but also on his face.

"YOU'RE DROPPING OUT? LIKE HELL YOU ARE, THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT YOU ARE YOUR GRADES AND YOUR FUCKING THOSE UP TOO." Dan cringed at his profanity.

"Dad, I want to be a youtuber like Phil and-" A fist collided with Dan's nose and he fell to the floor. His dad towered over him like his worst nightmare and picked him up by the collar, raising him so that his head was touching the lightbulb.

"FOR PHIL YEAH? ALL YOU DO NOWADAYS IS FOR PHIL AM I RIGHT YOU FAGGOT." Spit was flying all over Dan's face as the same fist collided with his mouth again only harder. He fell to the ground with tears pouring out of his eyes. 

Before he knew it, he was being kicked; in the ribs, head, legs everywhere. 

"DAD PLEASE STOP. PLEASE STOP. IT HURTS SO MUCH." Dan screamed out and his mother ran into the room restraining his father.

An evil chuckle came out of the mouth of the abuser.

"Do you know what's going to hurt even more, son?" The sarcasm was evident in his father's voice.

"When you're living in a fucking box because I'm embarrassed to call you my son. You are nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't deserve any love."

His dad tried reaching for him again but his mother stopped him. 

"Go Dan, before this man kills you. Go and know that I will always love you and I wish you the best." His mother leaned down for a second and cupped her son's face.

"Follow your dreams, love. You're going to be so successful." She kissed his forehead and signalled him to leave with her eyes.

Dan dragged himself across the floor and left the house as fast as possible - his lip bleeding, bruises everywhere and his heart torn apart.

He ran down a couple of streets and into a dark alleyway where he sat and cried. Cried like ten of his family members died simultaneously. The tears just kept coming and the pain in his chest grew and grew. He could feel his insides being torn apart piece by piece, nerve by nerve until everything stopped. It all just stopped. The tears, the pain, the sadness. 

He was drained both physically and mentally. So he fell asleep there, on the pavement where he belonged; just a lonely, teenage boy who tried following his dreams. 

\-----

Reliving this memory was something he had done often, it was almost like a reminder everyday that he was worthless. He looked in the mirror to see faint scars of where 'he' had hit. His ribs still ached when he moved and his heart hurt.

The one man, the one person who Dan had knew for his whole life had betrayed him. The only person he looked up to had left him, abused him, when he was most in need of support. This man had taken Dan away from his mother, the woman who fed him and clothed him for the first eighteen years of his life; all because he was different - because he didn't talk to girls or didn't follow the conventional route of education. 

Dan felt the desperate urge to release the emotional pain, all the pent up emotion. He retired to the bathroom and picked up the blade which was laying in the cupboard. He held it longingly, wanting to feel the deep slashes of physical pain in his wrist. 

He didn't consider it self harm - he considered it therapy. It drowned out everything and everyone. It helped in a weird, twisted way. The pleasure and happiness he felt as he watched the blood pour out of his wrist was like a drug but he stopped.

"I can't do this." He whispered to himself, putting the razor back.

He looked at himself in the mirror seeing a pale, lifeless boy staring back at him.

"I promised."


	2. Selflessness

The sun glared down through the glazed windows. His head was heavy and rested against the white bathtub. Dan groaned as he woke, remembering that he fell asleep after last nights psychological trauma. The birds were chirping happily but Dan saw no reason to be happy. His phone buzzed noisily in his back pocket and another groan left his lips as he stood up and answered the call.

"Hello?" said Dan, his voice slightly husky from the lack of water. 

"Hey Dan, how are you doing?" Instantly, a smile graced his lips as he heard the familiar voice of his best friend through the speaker. 

"I'm good, I just- I just miss you so damn much" he said in a whisper. 

"Dan have you been-" Dan cut him off with a sharp 'no' before changing the subject entirely. 

"How's your holiday?" Dan chirped as he walked out of the bathroom and into Phil's room. He sat on the colourful bedsheets and picked up the jacket that was laying on the floor. He held it tight as he listened to his best friend blabber on about the beautiful scenery and weather.

"Dan has he... has he um contacted you?" 

Dan inhaled sharply and hugged the jacket tighter. His eyes filled with tears but he wasn't going to let this get to him anymore. 

"He um.. He messaged me saying that he wants me to talk to him. That he didn't mean any of it." Dan's voice cracked in the middle of his sentence and he silently cursed himself.

"Talk to him." Phil said in a breath.

Dan gawked. 

"You expect me to talk to a man who almost beat me to death? Who ruined my relationship with my mother? You want me to go back to him after all the pain and suffering that I endured for MONTHS as I wished and hoped that I would just die? He told me I was worthless and that I didn't deserve anything." Dan screamed into the speaker. His breathing was heavy and harsh. A hand grabbed his head. He felt faint, he couldn't do this.

"It still hurts Phil. It hurts so fucking much." Was the only whisper that left his lips before he hung up the phone and threw it at the wall, barely breaking it but releasing his pent up anger. 

Dan grabbed his bag and walked out of the door. He walked and walked and walked. There wasn't a clear path that he was taking, he simply roamed around London, feeling his jealousy grow as he passed couples and families all laughing and smiling at the beautiful lights around them. The London Eye was in full swing and lit up as children waited to board and the water encompassed by the Thames River was shining in a glittery, blue fashion. Dan stood over the bridge peering into the water. 

What would happen if he got lost in that dark abyss? 

He shook those thoughts out of his mind and shoved his hands in his pockets before continuing his journey into the inevitable darkness. He passed houses and apartments, homeless people and children, he watched the sky turn from a light blue to purple. And just before sunset, he found what he was looking for - a pub.

The one place people go to drink away their problems; and gosh, there were a lot of people with problems that day.

Men in their twenties to their fifties sat at the dark brown wood ordering shot after shot, beer after beer, talking and chuckling at the stupidest little comments. Dan slid himself into a stool between a blonde haired man and a women who looked to be in her thirties.

"Whatcha doing in a place like this cutie?" asked the lady, pinching his cheeks.

Dan gave her a death stare and ordered the first drink of many.

"Well seems like someone's having a bad day" the women giggled and downed another shot. 

Dan sipped his beer and turned away from the lady who was now touching his arm sensuously. 

A few drinks later and the women was practically sitting on his lap but Dan paid no attention at all as he kept drinking until his head felt light and his senses started to intermingle. 

He was smelling what he heard and seeing what he felt. The pub door slammed open and a muscular body towered in, picking up Dan by the collar. The chattering stopped and the building went deadly silent.

"You tryna hit on my girl, you bloody wanker" The guy spat in his face as the girl who was previously clinging on to Dan was pulling at his muscular arm and begging him to let the younger boy go. 

Dan was paralysed. He was like 'him'. He would hit him and beat him just like 'he' did. 

The man put him down and brought his face closer.

"You'd better get the fuck out of this pub if you want to see the sunrise tomorrow" 

Dan scampered out feeling absoloutley terrified. He ran and ran until he reached a dark alleyway. 

It was almost midnight.

He shook backwards and forwards, trying to repress the oncoming panic attack that was about to happen. His phone was dead, he was dead. Not even a star twinkled in the sky to give him some hope; it was as if the universe was praying that he'd break down.

He did. 

He began punching the brick walls of the alleyway as he knuckles bled, his wrists started to hurt. He kicked the walls, banged his head against it until he felt dizzy and felt slowly to the ground. His eyes shut without consent as he felt his life fading away and somehow it was beautiful. He thought that he'd finally be happy, not having to deal with this psychological detriment that restricted his every move.

All his life, his fears dicateted his actions and right now, more than anything, he wanted to die. Physically die. He didn't care if that took ten hours or two minutes, he just wanted to be away from this creul Earth and the depression that it brought him. These thoughts slowly faded into blackness as his mind drifted off to somewhere quiet and peaceful.

\--------

"Dan wake up, please wake up" 

Dan heard an annoying beeping sound coming from the left side of him and he opened his eyes to see Phil's light blue orbs staring back at him. Surrounding the bed frame were masses of flowers and balloons. Dan didn't enjoy the colour. All he could think about was the fact that he wasn't dead. He wanted to die, why couldn't that happen?

"Why aren't I dead?" He asked Phil.

"Why the fuck would you say that Dan? Why? I understand your circumstances, I do, but it'd be a bloody nice feeling if you could go a day without questioning why you're still breathing."

Dan's eyes widened at the profanity that seemed foregin coming out of an angel's lips. He tried speaking but no words were coming out. All he could do was look at his friend and plead with his eyes.

"You went out drinking, you punched a wall, you slept in an alleyway and you turned off your phone" The voice was emotionless but Dan could see Phil's fists tightening as his anger built with every word excreted from his mouth.

"I'm sorry I just-"

"You're not sorry Dan, that's the thing. I've been here for you, helping you through this, and by no means am I telling you to be happy because I know how hard this is for you but you can't endanger yourself like that."

"You don't fucking understand." Dan growled.

Phil got up, knocking his chair so far back that it hit the side of the hospital wall and grabbed his jacket, promptly walking out of the door in a fast paced motion. The door slammed and Dan cringed at the loud sound on his sensitive ears.

Dan sat up and poured himself a glass of water though he couldn't bring himself to drink any. He'd messed up his friendship. The friendship that he fought for, he ruined. 

Again, the birds were chirping and it seemed almost disrespectful that they were singing their songs in such a tragic moment. 

Seeing his own heartbeat on the monitior next to him was a surreal experience for Dan. With each beep of the computer, he felt himself calm down at the fact that he was okay. Mentally, he was damaged but physically he was okay because he knew that he would never forgive himself if he left this world without making amends with his best friend.

His phone buzzed next to him.

'Please talk to me son' Sent from sperm donater. 

Phil's words echoed in Dan's mind - 'just talk to him'. 

In this moment, he did something completely selfless as he typed the reply.


	3. Guns and Kisses

Over the next few days, Dan stayed in the hospital bed, thinking over everything. How had he screwed up so badly in such a short amount of time? The flowers in his room were slowly decaying away and somehow, they represented him. The balloons were starting to deflate and the room was almost suffocating with the pure white walls on either side, blocking him in with no escape. The door was usually closed, the blinds drawn, just as Dan liked it. Most people were scared of the dark and considered it their greatest fear and yet Dan embraced the mystery, the ambiguity; it brought him thrill. 

People came and went like moths - not to say that Dan was the light. The only person who didn't step foot in the hospital room was ironically the person Dan wanted to see the most. 

But amidst the sadness, Dan felt excited. He would see his father in a few hours and then maybe everything would start working out. The psychological trauma that he faced may be lessened slightly and perhaps he would finally be happy. Happier. Just thinking about reuniting with the man left a bittersweet taste in his mouth; yes, his father has abused him and would never be fully forgiven, but at the same time, the love that Dan held for his father had been supressed for so many months and he was ready to just pull his old man into a hug. 

"Dan, its nice to see you finally smiling" said the nurse walking in and checking his blood pressure. Dan winced at the tightening armband and let out a sigh as it began to release.

"Why is it nice?" he asked as the nurse began writing down the digits off of the screen.

"Well it means you're happy." She started fumbling around in the cart, trying to find the thermometer. 

"No it doesn't" The nurse looked at Dan sceptically and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. 

"Smiling doesn't mean you're happy; it means you're strong enough to handle the sadness" 

Dan's eyes cloaked over as he said this, his voice becoming completely emotionless and the smile that once graced his face and allowed his dimples to protrude through his cheeks was now gone. Lost into the abyss. 

The nurse looked at him for a minute, examining his every feature. No doubt she had a handsome patient on her hands, but she wondered whether he was the same on the inside, whether the paleness and softness really represented his personality. There was a darkness in his eyes, like a silent cry for help, she knew she had to do something.

The nurse walked out and into the office, picking up the phone and dialling away.

"Hello?" a tired voice answered on the other side.

"Hello Mr. Lester, you might want to come into the hospital, your friend Mr. Howell is in critical condition" The nurse said instantly regretting it.

"Oh my god! Is he okay? I'll be right over!" The line cut off and the nurse smiled to herself, hoping that she had made the right decision.

\------

Phil rushed into the hospital and slammed his hands down on the desk, panting.

"I'm here to see Dan Howell" He breathed heavily.

The nurse pointed him to a room on the left and immediately, Phil ran into the room, almost toppling over the machines that were blocking the entrance. As he rushed into the room, Dan - who was previously reading his book - looked up in surprise and happiness as his best friend rushed into his room.

Phil stormed over to him and grabbed his face, looking into his eyes and scanning his body for any obvious bruising. 

"Are you okay?"

His misty breath fell on Dan's face and the icy blue eyes that stared into his soul were comforting. Dan couldn't reply; he was too caught up in his best friend. Dan grabbed Phil's face and allowed their lips to collide. The kiss was so gentle that neither even felt it, it's softness held a certain authenticity that the boys couldn't describe and it lasted so long that the heart monitior on Dan's left began beeping dramatically at the lack of oxygen reaching his lungs. 

They pulled away and sat in silence. Dan didn't know why he did that, he wasn't at all romantically attached to Phil but he needed to tell him how much he meant, how much he needed him. 

"I messaged my dad" The silence was broken after a few mintues and Phil looked over to the brown haired boy who still had his head down in embarrassment.

"I can leave in a couple of hours so I told him to come to our house in the evening" They finally made eye contact and Phil gave Dan a slight nod. 

Phil didn't know what had just happened - he couldn't decipher it. He had just kissed his best friend and enjoyed it. Suddenly, the world was brighter to him; the birds, the grass, the sky, they all seemed to align in a way that was perfect. Every single element was synchronised in this moment and he felt that it would only go uphill from here: Dan would make up with his father, he would be happy and that would ultimately make Phil happy also.

They sat there in silence. Not really because neither wanted to talk to the other, it was merely because within the silence, there was a deep meaning. The idea that both of them were communicating without speech or eye contact. They were both lost in their own deep thoughts about the other and these dreams didn't need to be voiced. Somehow, time passed faster in the silence than it would've in chatter and now, Dan had been discharged with a few painkillers prescribed to him. 

Phil supported his friend with an arm on his shoulder, they walked out of the hospital and into a taxi which delivered them to their flat. Dan held his breath as he walked in, this was home. The place where he felt most safe; the sofa, where he would curl up into a ball and watch anime and his desk where he wrote down all his thoughts in stories, poems, you name it. 

His phone began ringing and the caller ID left Dan terrified. It was his father. He felt safe talking to him over messages but hearing his voice again may cause another mental breakdown, however, Dan was prepared. He picked up the phone with slightly shaking hands and place it to his ear as Phil watched observingly. 

"Hello?"

"Hello son. It's so nice hearing your voice again. I hope you're okay and I can't wait to see you in a bit. Is 7 good?"

"Y-Yeah dad, 7 is fine." Dans eyes began to water and Phil sighed, walking towards him and pulling him into a tight hug. Dan rested his head on the shoulder of his best friend and continued to listen.

"I miss you so much, I love you."

"Me too" Dan cut off the phone and buried his head into Phil's neck as his hair was stroked soothingly. Phil whispered words of encouragement into Dan's ears which helped slightly though he was still shivering.

\------

The clock ticked very slowly as it got closer and close to seven. Six Fifty-Eight.

Dan had dressed up as had Phil and they both sat opposite eachother in the lounge just anticipating the upcoming events. The doorbell rang and Phil rushed down the stairs to open the door. His voice echoed up into the lounge and Dan began tearing up again, hearing his father's voice. 

Suddenly, the door was pushed open and Phil's head popped in. He was followed by an older man, a man who looked exactly like Dan except he wasn't the man that Dan remembered. He had aged at least ten years in the past couple of months and his eyes held bags that were dark. His face was a pale white and his beard overgrown. He reeked of cigarettes and alcohol but his face lit up as he saw his son.

He immediately pulled him into a tight hug and it was a beautiful moment. Phil lookedat the scene happily, father and son reunited in the most bizzare manner. But that is when everything began to go downhill.

\------

His dad walked around the apartment, examining every detail.

"This is a nice place you've got here, son." 

"Yeah, youtube money and everything" He laughed and they both sat down, on either side of the dinner table. 

"Well actually, that's what I came here to talk to you about." Dan looked at him in confusion and began to speak.

"I don't under-"

"You didn't think I'd come here for you, did you?" The manic laughter was back. The laughter that had no emotion, the laughter of a psycho. Dan wanted to scream but he didn't.

"You know, I never thought you'd make it this big, son." His dad spat as he began circling the boy. Phil watched from afar, wanting to help but knowing that he couldn't. The guilt ate away at him at the fact that he forced his friend to invite this beast into their home.

"But I want this. The fancy apartment in London, the money. What do you say son, want to hand it over?" His smile was sickening and Dan stood up, knocking the chair back and almost toppling his father over.

"Over my dead body." He spat.

"Oh that can be arranged." A gun was removed from the boot of this man and he held it up, aiming at Dan's forehead. The silver metal glistened in the moonlight that was emerging from the open windows and the golden trigger was mocking him. One metal bullet, about three centimeters long had the potential to kill him. What a lovely thought.

"Do it then. You coward." He didn't know where this bravery was coming from but he enjoyed watching that man's eyes widen at the comebacks. 

"Oh well look who finally found their voice. The little faggot boy can finally talk for himself.

At least that slut isn't here to stop me"

"Shut up" Dan growled, his anger bubbling up at the disrespect to his mother.

"Did I hit a Danny nerve, hmm? You're mother is just a stupid whore. I never loved her, nor made love to her. I fucked her. She was my own personal fuck toy." He taunted.

Dan jumped at the older man and a gunshot was heard. No one knew what or whom had been hit by the metal device. It was aimed at Dan and the bullet launched towards him, almost in slow motion. He just stood there, awating his death when he was violently pushed out of the way.

"PHIL" Dan screamed, kneeling next to his friend who now had a bullet hole tattooed into his forehead.

"Dan I love you. You'll be okay, I promise." Blood started sputtering through his mouth and his eyes finally closed. Silent tears were streaming down Dan's face and mixing with the blood of his best friend. He stood up, covered in blood and charged at his father who was standing proudly in the corner. 

"I'm going to kill you" 

The man slammed the metal handle of the gun onto Dan's head and caught him as he fell unconscious. 

"Son, I could kill you right now, but that would be too kind for a faggot like yourself."


	4. Giving Up

He never thought it’d come to this. A time where he was solely in isolation; each footstep made his skin crawl with fear and each movement of muscle made him ache.

It’d been some time since his friend was shot, right in the head, in front of his eyes for no good reason at all. Phil was kind, sweet and caring and he had died with absolutely no explanation.

It was cruel what he had done - left Dan in isolation knowing that the repressed guilt would slowly eat away at him until he felt the need to release himself from the internal pain, but in a sense it was good; Dan could finally process what had happened in the past couple of years. Or months. Or weeks. He didn’t know how long it’d been.

He couldn’t believe that he had lived 19 years of his life in complete and total oblivion and he didn’t want to be free, he wanted to be kept in imprisonment. It was better than being out there and facing him.

Dan often spent his time writing: books, poems, letters. Not for any particular reason expect the desperate need to release his creative temperament in some sort of fashion.

With a cry of frustration, Dan began a slow crawl to the corner of the room where he had left a notepad and pen. He picked it up with shaking hands and began to write in a large, messy scrawl.

Dear Phil,

The guilt eats away at me constantly. I should have been there for you, I should have taken the bullet, I should have died. 

Actually no, I shouldn’t have. I wouldn’t wish this existence upon my worst enemy let alone my best friend. It’s lonely. So lonely. I’m surprised that I haven’t gone insane yet.

Phil, I know you told me to be brave and to have hope, and in your dying breaths you told me that I’d be okay. I believe you, I really do but I can’t anymore. All this depression that I’ve suppressed for however long I’ve been in this hell is being exposed.

It hurts. 

It hurts so fucking much.

I want to do it. I just want it to be over, anything is better than this.

I’m a coward I know. I should hold on and show them that I can push on but I can’t. You were the motivation in my life, your light balanced out my dark. If you were here I’d be able to survive forever.

Please come back Phil, I need you.

He looked down at his paper, his pale skin blending into it. The writing was smudged and Dan felt his face to feel the tears leaking from his eyes.

He’d decided. It was enough.

Another slow crawl took him to the side of the room where the blade lay.

Cut. Cut. Cut. 

He felt it, every slash he put into his skin drew his life away a little more. The feeling was liberating, he would finally have his peace.

One more.

That was it. He laid on the floor, the tears still running down his face as a smile graced his lips for the first time in decades it seemed and with his final breath, he whispered,

“Finally.”

His eyes shut in a warm embrace as he was finally reunited with his best friend. And his body lay on the stained floor of the dirty prison cell; pale, lifeless and happy as ever.


	5. Reawakening

Car horns were sounding loudly and the chilly London air was blowing in through the open windows, hitting his skin and creating little goose bumps everywhere. The curtains were flailing around constantly and then ballooning back down and hitting the wall as the warmth overtook the wind. The sky was grey but peeking out from behind was a small ray of sunshine which seemed to be directed at this window. The buildings outside were grey and dreary but if you looked close enough, you could see the children laughing and playing in the park nearby, little did they know what the true world held in store for them.

Slowly, his eyelids opened and he looked around frantically. Why and how was he alive?

It was confusing; he remembered his death, his final breaths, the moment his eyes closed. He practically felt his soul leave the Earth and yet he was here, alive, blinking and breathing. 

He sat up slowly, reaching out his arms and looking down at them as if expecting to see a missing limb or something, anything that could be classed as an abnormality which may somehow explain this situation. Sadly, there was nothing to see, only pale skin. He got out of the bed; another mystery because he had died on the floor as he recalled and then started towards the full length mirror which was leaning again the wall in the far corner. He peered at himself, reaching his hands up to his face to find no flaws - he looked exactly the same. However, his eyes were darker somehow and as he stared at himself, he noticed two little marks on the edge of his neck.

This was mortifying. Imagine feeling yourself die and then waking back up only to find that you are in perfect condition except for two little marks - it was terrifying. And where was that psycho maniac who caused all of this because if he got another chance at life, he would most definitely find the old man and watch him suffer as his life drained away. His fists clenched in anger as he felt his stomach rumble, but he wasn't craving food. 

The aching hunger grew and grew until he was on the floor in pain, clutching his abdomen and wondering what on Earth his body wanted... And then he heard it - the pulse drumming away outside. His teeth began to protrude from his gums until his canines were elongated and at the sharpest angle possible. His eyes felt hollow and all he could think about was blood. 

He crawled back over the mirror, groaning in agony and staring at himself. He was a completely different person; the teeth that had erupted from his gums were starting to pierce through his bottom lip and drawing blood as his eyes shone in a yellowy, gold colour. The veins on his forehead had been pushed upwards and his skin was a single shade paler. Just as he thought it was over,

He heard a cry coming from outside the apartment complex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this short, shitty chapter - I just needed a lead up to where I want this story to go. Also, I hope you guys enjoyed the POV, I thought I'd make it a surprise as to who 'he' is :)


End file.
